I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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