Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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