Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
