You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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