His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
