quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
