Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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