That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
