Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
