Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
