My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
