So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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