Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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