I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize