yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
