Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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