Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i think im in europe. pls send help
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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