ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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