I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
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Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she peed on how many people?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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