absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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