community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize