And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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