I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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