Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think I just sharted jello shots
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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