Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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