my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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