it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize