So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
