That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
