marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
