did you get engaged???
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
