How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
