I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
