Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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