I will die if light touches me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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