Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
false alarm. still invincible.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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