you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
