after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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