you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
