ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
