He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
