i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
