508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
