apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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