So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
