Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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