Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
