You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
