You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
