I faked an abortion last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will be naked everywhere
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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