My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
