when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
