Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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(805): View more from California

So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair

Fav 9 2168 824
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move

(617): View more from Massachusetts

that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.

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(904): View more from Florida

I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.

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(573): View more from Missouri

We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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(661): View more from California

Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?

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