You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
