if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
