So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
