I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
dude. I can hear the air.
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