You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
