Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
