We won't sleep together?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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