you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
