You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
