my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Randomize
