I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
