I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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