I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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